Sometimes The Most Valuable Lessons We Learn About Life--Are In Death.

"...suddenly, besides grieving--everything that I did at work had new meaning--or in some cases, no meaning."

I had arrived at the hospital about 7am on a cold January morning in 2001. My mother lay in ICU having suffered a heart attack the day before at her nursing home.

My brother and I had cared for her for ten years at my home in Olathe, Kansas. He drove an early morning truck shift for a bakery--and after several attempts to call him, got him the message to come to the hospital.

A few minutes earlier--my mother, laying in a semi out of it state--blurted out, "I'm going..." I responded, I know mother. 

Two hours later, as I sat at the foot of her bed, the ICU monitor that had beeped on a regular basis--suddenly became one long beeeeeepppppp. I looked up and noticed there was no longer a blood pressure or pulse reading.

The nurse came over, calmly turned the machine off and said "I'm sorry".

Thus ended my 80 year old mothers life (seen here at age 17). She had been a diabetic for 62 years and survived with an amputation of a leg and two toes.

That night, my brother and I noticed an index card that fell out of her Bible. She had hand-written how she wanted to be remembered. At the end of her message--she "thanked God for her two loving sons who cared for her in her latter days."

We scanned it with a picture taken of her at Christmas, three weeks earlier. We had them framed and placed by her casket the next day at her funeral. The index card was the last thing the pastor read.

I remember thinking over the next several weeks that she had been drop-kicked into eternity. She and I had talked much about her life and expectations of when it would end. 

But suddenly,  besides grieving--everything that I did at work had new meaning--or in some cases, no meaning.

I kept the framed picture and note card of my mother in my business satchel and would take it out often as I remembered her over the years.

Going through the process with her gave me not only a new appreciation and perspective on my work--but how I viewed life as well.

I remembered years ago--during a sales meeting with a board member of the company I worked with telling us, "don't make us number one...put your faith, your family and friends ahead of us".

I remember thinking--how strange that this board member of a Fortune 500 communications company would say such a thing. Two weeks later--all several hundred of their radio stations (of which I worked) were sold.

That statement stayed with me over the next fifteen years until I retired from the broadcast industry. 

Three things became clear to me over the years that I think might help put our lives in "perspective":

• How you live your life should define the business you're in--not the other way around.
• Understand that in your goal to be productive and earn a living, it is the journey you experience that gives meaning to your life.
• In the final summation--your character and how you interacted with co-workers, clients and customers is how you'll be remembered--not that last sale.

So many times in business, whether we're an owner, manager or employee--our focus can become so laser-like in meeting quota's, timelines, etc--that we lose the big picture which is our life.

Our business culture places bonuses on achieving goals, rewards revenue accomplishments and strives to create wealth.

How we individually view each of those processes and how much they are a part of our journey in life will determine who we are or became when are working career winds down.

I worked with a multi-millionaire business owner years ago who's focus was on making money, etc to an almost irrational, Scrooge-like behavior.

I attended his funeral years later at a large church. As they wheeled the casket past me--I thought to myself, "Joe, you can't take it with you".

This life-work balance is critical to the joy, happiness and contentment we experience in this life--and it's good to be reminded of it now and then.

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